sexta-feira, junho 30, 2006


(Sofia, on the left – she is the woman I appreciate so much for her straightforward way. She may send in to “shit” anyone at first glance of deceit and she will love until death those in her heart. Truthful and simple, hard working and pure of heart. A privilege to work next to her nowadays in these times of shades.
Aurelia, on the right – my ex-nurse chief. She was as “Lionheart” – always ready to give it all for ideals as nursing and free care. Frontal and edgy, she fell under the plot of the times in which we sink in nowadays. Blessed for her gift in to nursing for so long and so intensively)

People… they are the mirrors that mold our life…

From those who show us the apparent truth to those who help us to face the obvious lie… all of them count, all of them are worthy and truthfull their own way.

With my chief I learned to face the enemy, to engage it eye on eye and to fight for something until breath was there no more.

Under her influence I learned to trust all my will and gifts to a common cause – how to serve others using my skills for a communitarian well fare. Next with people of strong will (as my colleague Sofia) we fought for more than five years to develop all that each person has the right to demand from a public service of health without paying a cent for it or becoming prey of lobbies and clientalism.

Several projects of health promotion grew. Invitations to share our experience and even teach others appeared. Compliments rained from everywhere.

The service grew in numbers – from the five persons we were in the beginning we became twelve. We gained one more car, materials to help taking care of dependant people and to promote community health.

But – the only permanent thing is change.
Sickness on the family allied to the political changes and lobby influence drained this brotherhood of those who fought for an ideal with nothing personal to win.

Yesterday we met again to remember those times, to cry our deep inner wounds, to lament the moments we lingered when we should have fought. “Cymbrogi” – companions of the heart we are, those who fought shoulder with shoulder in battle for a common ideal, with nothing else to gain than to fulfill their dreams for a common vision of truth that serves everyone... these are companions of the heart.

Ave to those who do not die – those are the ones who passed in to the other side as free people…

I dream with those who broke but did not bend. May me myself discover the courage to become one.

(My mom and dad on one of the encounters we have had lately. Found it funny to see what happened to pas on the TV screen as the photos went on…)

Now, those who made me in to be what I’m now. We talked today, inside a ceremony of meetings in which I’m trying to wash away generations of pain and a relationship of fear.

Step by step – knowing and embracing my mother’s subtlety and gifts. To accept her and to let her know who is the being she had in hands for so long.

Step by step – to serve as a shield for these two entities to become aware of the balance they need to generate between them so each of them is fully free.

So painful the path of the heart. Still – so needed to endure.
In the end of the tunnel there’s light. But – more than words and beliefs, more than spiritualism and philosophy – we need deeds, we needs acts, we need steps forward.

So – here it is.
I’m working it as hard as I may. Sometimes it is as smashing my face against a wall. Others as open my chest to thorns. Others though – among the sand and dust - a pearl shines and a bit of each of us comes in to the surface.

That pearl deserves each painful moment. From the fear we shall rise to light, from oblivion we will awake in eden.

We will… we will…

(The picture of the loneliness I may face if not in harmony and devotion with the feminine inside. There is an angel somewhere to this stranded soul… there must be.)

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